Posts Tagged ‘Wayne Bisset’

The Easier, Softer Way

May 14, 2017

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In accordance with the Justification and Excuses, when seeking radical change it is human nature to try find an easier, softer way.

Experience shows me this approach used on the Pursuit of Happiness, is doomed to failure. As in physical exercise trying to “grow” in a spiritual manner involves PAIN. The rather trite saying in the gyms, “No pain, no gain” is a pretty good summery of any type of personal growth it seems. All emotions that cause pain, from shame and guilt to anger and anxiety, are, or rather can be, teaching experiences, just depends on whether you want to learn or whine.

The other thing that is needed is great courage. Courage in the process of changing your life means the willingness to “look in the mirror” and acknowledge aspects of yourself that you may not know about or may not like about yourself. Courage allows you to explore your inner world and to not run from bad emotions you might feel as learn about yourself. Courage enables you to reject your old inertia, and set a new course.

Nosce te ipsum

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Excuses and Justification

May 13, 2017

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Sadly, these two words I witness in action repeatedly, and unfortunately, this has caused a certain amount of intolerance in me.

Excuse

In court, an excuse defence concentrates on the actor rather than the act. It accepts the act may have harmed society in some way, but seeks to show that the person is not really to blame. Excuses may show that the person’s choice was limited and that the ‘right’ alternative was not available.

Justification

Justification is about giving ‘reasonable reason’ for what was done (or not). It considers the context and concludes that fair play was served. In court, a justification defence concentrates on the act rather than the actor. It shows the act to be beneficial to society in some way. It shows it as sensible and just and what a good person would do. It offers exonerating circumstances that say ‘It was right to do this in this particular situation.

Now the law does not really hold my interest at all, but these two words do; in the context of the quest of trying to change and make a better person and life. In others that claim that they want to do the same these two words come up frequently. Changing oneself is hard, extremely hard, and it takes more work than one would believe. Because of the visible change in me between the drinking person and the non drinking person, often people will tell me that they want to change, not just the people that have a drinking/drugging problem. That is where I hear those two words often and repeatedly, of all the people I have met outside my Strange Classrooms, telling me they want to change, NOT ONE, has actually done anything constructive about making that change. When asked why they do not use the knowledge I have passed on to them, all I get is excuses, followed by justification.

This is quite disheartening, but I learned, I cannot change anyone but myself, so all I can do is make sure that I do not use those two actions too often in my Pursuit of Happiness.

Nosce te ipsum

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The Evil of Religion

May 12, 2017

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Religion is evil, particularly Organized Religion. Consider this, before you get on your High Horse.

“God and the devil were walking down a path one day when God spotted something sparkling by the side of the path. He picked it up and held it in the palm of his hand.

“Ah, Truth,” he said.

“Here, give it to me,” the devil said. “I’ll organize it.”

Religion is the conduct and rituals used within the context of a faith system. An organized religion is a faith system with an over-arching structure in place to define doctrine, standardize worship practices, and administrate the organization.

Way back when, Christianity, the dominant religion in Europe, deliberately arrested the development of science and scientific thinking, limiting investigation of the natural world and halted theological investigation. The scientific discoveries of the ancient Greeks and Egyptians were, as far as possible, suppressed and destroyed for centuries by the Christian Church. As a result, scientific knowledge progressed hardly at all during the Dark Ages. Ironic that the Darkness was brought by the very people/organizations that claim to be the bearers of Light, don’t you think? Since they could not stop the flow of information, they have fallen back to that old faithful, FEAR. You’re going to hell type stuff.

Women in particular have suffered at the hands of organized religion over the centuries. From the Biblical encouragement of the treatment of women as property to the barbarous witch hunts of medieval Europe to the Catholic crusade against birth control and abortion rights to the repression, disfigurement, torture and killing of women by Islam, women have been singled out for special treatment by the dominant religious groups. Many religious faiths keep women ignorant of almost everything, believing that the only suitable occupations for women are marriage and motherhood.

Why an intelligent woman would willingly be part of any religion is quite beyond me. Why any intelligent person for that matter, would follow a religion, for that matter.

The newfangled Born Again type are different kettle of fish, but just as dangerous in a different way. One of the earliest happy-clappy organisations, the Peoples Temple Agricultural Project, left the world with a perfect example of the potential evil they can obtain, but the sheeple do not seem keen to learn the harder lessons in life. In case you do not know that name, the Peoples Temple Agricultural Project, think…… Jonestown.

What organized religion now hates the most, more than their Devil, I think, is the trend for people to follow a spiritual path and not a religious one. Oh wait! They will blame that on the Devil too. I smile.

 

Nosce te ipsum

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A Sense of Belonging

May 11, 2017

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According to the head mechanics, a sense of belonging is a human need, just like the need for food and shelter. Some find belonging in a church, some with friends, some with family, and some on Facebook or other social media. Some see themselves as connected only to one or two people. Others believe and feel a connection to all people the world over, to humanity. Some struggle to find a sense of belonging and their loneliness is physically painful for them. a single instance of being excluded can undermine self-control and well being and often creates pain and conflict.

My Strange Classrooms advocate that I “belong” too. Hell, I clearly remember telling the first chap that spoke to me in the AA, he told me that in order to get well I had to do certain things and join the human race. My reply was, “I don’t know about that, I have looked at the human race and found them lacking. I DO NOT want to sign up with them.” To this day my Facebook profile under About reads:

I am not aligned or affiliated to any organization, government, club, group, movement or facility. Religious, political or any thing else. I have always and will always be on my own mission!
Fully Section Eight.
Although I may travel along a path with people on occasion.

Part of that I got by reading the Twelve Traditions of the AA, I am sure the guys that wrote it never thought that it would be and inspiration for a personal philosophy.

The sense of belonging has come up recently in the Rooms again, perhaps I shall re-evaluate my stance on this matter.

Nosce te ipsum

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Being Humble as opposed to Being a Doormat

May 10, 2017

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The funny thing about humility is that you cannot really emulate it directly.  The moment you call humility a virtue and think you’ve pulled off “acting humbly”, you are proud of how humble you are. Pride negates any humility, just like that.  Humility is shy… the minute you start talking about it, it goes away.  An observation. I watched many a recovering alcoholic sprouting off in the rooms about how they have become humble. They all ended up going on a mission and some died.

Another problem is the confusion of being humble as opposed to being a doormat. The biggest difference in my, not so humble opinion is: One is driven by a desire to be a better person and the other is driven by fear. A Doormat type is most definitely NOT a humble person.

The person who is a doormat is a person who is dominated by fear and who seeks to control the outcomes, such as gaining approval, preventing rejection, and maintaining the status quo, by putting on a compliant, lower-than-others, people-pleasing facade.  Whether they realize it or not (most of the time they do not, it is unconscious), it is a controlled position of avoidance… avoiding their true selves and avoiding the potentially painful consequences of rising up and being genuine and seeking to connect with others eye-to-eye .  It is masqueraded anger, a way to deal with perceived threat by flight and control.  It is the equivalent of locking yourself behind a wall and while accepting abuse and throwing small gifts over the wall in order control others / keep them from walking away from you.

A humble person would do things a doormat never would.  A humble person would tell the uncomfortable truth to someone even if it might mean personal loss.  They don’t use “the truth” as a power-play, but they would find a way to speak it if they felt it was important for the other person.  So, a humble person is not afraid to rock the boat when it benefits other people -because they are not obsessed with making sure they never personally damaged by this action.
Humility is the result of something that happens to you which shifts your gaze away from you and outward toward others.

Nosce te ipsum

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When Milestones become Millstones

May 9, 2017

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It is very important to both set and then remember the milestones in one’s life. By setting them we can give ourselves motivation, by achieving them we gain satisfaction, and dare I say it? One may gain certain amount of happiness, through the satisfaction of achieving or completing a difficult goal.   The remembering it seems to be a two edged sword. On the one side it can give one confidence to achieve one’s next goal, on the other side one can decide not to set new goals and merely hang one’s hat on past achievements.

The milestone becomes a millstone when one allows the milestones to define you and so becomes a millstone that prevents one from taking courageous risks to accomplish more.

One of the big reasons I am pretty anti-social is because of the many people that do this, as I mentioned in my last article, I dislike braggarts. Well, I dislike associating and getting talked at by people that can only brag about their past achievements, especially when they brag about how wealthy they once were, the big house, the fancy car, the  business they use to own.  Things that I feel are not the most important milestones in this thing called life and the operative words being, USE TO.  Normally these people are sitting in a position of some hardship in the right here and now. Those milestones they had achieved are now millstones, which could be grouped and named “living in the past”.

Jung is quoted as saying, “You are the things that you do, and not the things that you say you will do.”

I put it to you, you are the things you are doing,  based on previous accomplishments and experience, not the things you once did.

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Bragging – A Defect of Character

May 8, 2017

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My Strange Classrooms tell me; defects of character stemmed from a need to feel secure and loved. One serious defect of character that seems to be prevalent is bragging.  We all have met those, being there, done that, and better than you, type of people.

Oh! You speak Spanish? That’s cute. I also speak Spanish, Italian and French. You taught Spanish in high school? I actually started my own company when I was 21, teaching 3 languages. I funded it myself!

God give me Grace!  I do not deal with this sort very well at all, which shows up a defect of character of my own. This will not do, I am sure I am not alone here.  So I thought the best thing is to see why they do it.

Understanding that they are actually sick, insecure and often lonely people should evoke some sympathy in me, for them. Nope, that did not work. I still find them irritating and actually they bring out the aggression in me. Next best thing, I also learned, when I get pissed off in a situation, remove myself.  If that is not possible, try to ignore the idiot and not getting into a competition with them seems to be a good plan.

Sometimes I hate these bloody Strange Classrooms, as for sympathy and braggarts? The only sympathy I find is for myself, that I have to deal with them.

Nosce te ipsum

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Egyptian Goose vs Pied Plovers – Photographs

May 6, 2017

Sitting waiting for the elusive Kingfisher at the small lagoon is producing some very interesting photographs, of everything but the bloody Kingfisher.

 

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The Bigger Picture Trap

May 5, 2017

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An insult I take often is that I am not looking at the bigger picture.  That worries me not, Firstly it is not true and because by observation, most the people that claim they see the bigger picture actually see very little; except what they WANT to see. Similar to the “God told me” crowd, the Bigger Picture Guys only see/hear what suites their agenda, and ignore the facts found in the never discussed Little Picture.  So, in fact these Bigger Picture braggarts are actually full of shit! Do not get me wrong, it is a brilliant asset to be able to see the bigger picture, but only if you see the WHOLE picture.  There is a saying, the devil is in the details, which the people mentioned above either cannot see, or choose not to see.

The people that concentrate only on the big picture, in my experience, tend to be the type that talk a good talk and never DO much. An example, if I sold a book to every person that has said to me, “Oh, you wrote a book! I am going to write one soon.”  I would be stinking rich, and, never see  one of those books ,even started never mind published.

Far, far more important is to be able to see the bigger picture in your own personal life. Just like photography with swooping wide-angle shots and detailed close-ups, every aspect of your life involves several different focal lengths.

The close-ups are where the actual work gets done, the action steps you need to take to move from A to B and B to C. This is a good thing. If you’re writing a book, for instance, you’ll probably be thinking about your chapter in progress as you write, not about the entire book.  But every now and then, you have to take a step back, take a wide angle shot and check what you have written, edit and then see where the story must go.

Same in life.

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Leadership by Example

May 4, 2017

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There is only one way to lead, the internet is full of all sorts of shit about leadership, mainly pertaining to business though.  Since money is not my motivational driving force in this life, I do not care so much about business leadership. I tend to observe the “Spiritual Leaders” more closely. The first and most important thing about leadership is setting an example. My first “leader” use to say, very often, “Don’t do as I do, do as I say.” Well, that did not work well, thank God, or I would be a high ranking Jehovah’s Witness right now!

Of the two major religions of the world, Christianity and Islam, I think that the Muslims are producing far better leaders than the Christians. This coming from a self confessed islamphobic . Why on earth would I say that?

Because the record shows that the popular Christian leaders over time, all these TV evangelists and what not, do not practice anything near what they preach. Neither does the leader of the worlds biggest Christian sect. The list of the Christian leaders failure to lead by example is far too long for a simple blog article, it would fill a whole book.

Now these Muslim fellows? They are very good, a religious leader will not only preach cutting the head off an infidel, he will damn well do it himself, give him half a chance.

If you are a Christian, do not be offended by this, I am not advocating any religion, I HATE all religion, I am saying,  take your current crop of leaders to task, or replace them.

If you are a Muslim?  You can be offended as much as you like. What can I say to a person that calls me an infidel and want to chop off my head??? If you are one of these “religion of peace” Muslims, go read your Koran some more.

So far I have found not one man to follow.

 

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