Being Humble as opposed to Being a Doormat

Mexican Horse Thief-Amanzimtoti3

The funny thing about humility is that you cannot really emulate it directly.  The moment you call humility a virtue and think you’ve pulled off “acting humbly”, you are proud of how humble you are. Pride negates any humility, just like that.  Humility is shy… the minute you start talking about it, it goes away.  An observation. I watched many a recovering alcoholic sprouting off in the rooms about how they have become humble. They all ended up going on a mission and some died.

Another problem is the confusion of being humble as opposed to being a doormat. The biggest difference in my, not so humble opinion is: One is driven by a desire to be a better person and the other is driven by fear. A Doormat type is most definitely NOT a humble person.

The person who is a doormat is a person who is dominated by fear and who seeks to control the outcomes, such as gaining approval, preventing rejection, and maintaining the status quo, by putting on a compliant, lower-than-others, people-pleasing facade.  Whether they realize it or not (most of the time they do not, it is unconscious), it is a controlled position of avoidance… avoiding their true selves and avoiding the potentially painful consequences of rising up and being genuine and seeking to connect with others eye-to-eye .  It is masqueraded anger, a way to deal with perceived threat by flight and control.  It is the equivalent of locking yourself behind a wall and while accepting abuse and throwing small gifts over the wall in order control others / keep them from walking away from you.

A humble person would do things a doormat never would.  A humble person would tell the uncomfortable truth to someone even if it might mean personal loss.  They don’t use “the truth” as a power-play, but they would find a way to speak it if they felt it was important for the other person.  So, a humble person is not afraid to rock the boat when it benefits other people -because they are not obsessed with making sure they never personally damaged by this action.
Humility is the result of something that happens to you which shifts your gaze away from you and outward toward others.

Nosce te ipsum

View the Mexican Horse Thief’s Page

Short Story

THE MEXICAN HORSE THIEF I – ANGOLA

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