One often hears the saying, “To forgive and forget.”

I cannot agree with this philosophy completely. The forgive one has to do, not for the other person but for the sake of one’s own metal well being. If one does not forgive, the transgression and the perpetrator will sit in one’s mind. Perhaps just in the sub conscience, but never the less eats away at your very soul. If it comes to mind too often it will form resentment and that is a soul destroying thing. There is a saying about drinking poison and expecting your enemy to die, same thing. So, one ought to forgive, as I say, for one’s own good.

To forget. Firstly I question if this is actually possible?  I do believe that everything we ever see or hear is filed away, everything. It is just a matter of pushing the right button and the memory will call up the file. Very few people have that ability, but we have examples of people that can do amazing things, like those with “photographic memories.” Perhaps they just have a way of pushing the right buttons apart from that their brain is no different to anyone else’s.

More importantly, to forget is just downright stupid. If it is actually possible to forget, it goes against the very code of survival to “forget” something which has harmed you. If you do that, not only can the original perpetrator harm you over and over again, but you will not have learned anything from the experience.

That brings me to the question of how many times must you forgive a person. In my Western Christian upbringing I got the lesson about forgiving your brother 77 times 7 whadda whadda. That too I question. Firstly for the reason given above and then secondly, if a person is constantly forgiven, he too loses a valuable lesson of life. It is called “the consequences of your actions.”   This was something that took me a good few years to not only comprehend, but also face.

After listening to all the people in the Strange Classroom and then mulling all what I had heard around in my head for a few days I can only come up with the following way in which to act on this forgiveness thing. Anyone, no, everyone makes mistakes so to forgive, all but the most heinous transgressions is not that difficult. However, if the transgressor sees your forgiveness as a weakness and plays on it, committing the same transgression or worse again, forgiveness is not then automatic any longer. Unless the person shows some form of remorse and tries to make amends, I will neither forgive nor forget, but neither will I feel resentment for that person, as they would have shown their true colours and I just move on.

Like the Gypsy I am.

A compilation of my Strange Classrooms is soon to be released, please “Like” and  keep an eye on this page.


Here is a story of developing and breaking an addiction, while dealing with Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome at the same time.



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3 Responses to “Forgiveness”

  1. Zonnica van den Heever Says:

    Enjoyed reading this, also believe in forgiveness, but I just find it extremely difficult to.

  2. Strange Classrooms – Seeking Forgiveness | One Man's Opinion Blog Says:

    […] Strange Classrooms – Forgiveness […]

  3. Wayne Bisset Says:

    Reblogged this on Section Eight Solutions.

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