Religion…. on Jehovah’s Witnesses…

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“I am not afraid to die.”

I use to be, many, many years ago, in fact from very young, since I can remember until the age of 12, I believed implicitly that I would die horribly before my 12th birthday. This, what turned out to be a completely erroneous belief was given to me by my father. You see I grew up as a Jehovah’s Witness. They, therefore my father, believed that Armageddon would come in 1975. Those not in THE TRUTH were in for a horrible death and everlasting damnation. You see, although I was a quiet, sensitive kid, I did not like this Jehovah character, whom seemed rather meaner than my old man. I did not love this God of my fathers in my heart, so therefore I was doomed. Melodramatic? Childish? I was a child… To give an example of how strongly my father believed in his church, when my mother spoke of my High School education plans, my father would say we needn’t worry about that Armageddon would get here before I finished Primary school. I was in standard 5 in the supposedly fated year of 1975. Children are tough and I sort of coped with that okay. My worst problem was that I got beaten up just about every day at least once a day by my peers. Why? I was a Jehovah’s Witness, I did not stand when the National Anthem was played, I did not sing hymns or bow my head in assembly when the school principal prayed to his God. Mostly, I would not fight back. Hated school, hated the “meetings” and being forced to wear a suit and go from door to door selling the Watchtower and Awake magazines. My only salvation and indeed my thread to sanity was my animal collection. I had a variable zoo in my back garden. Every boy should have a dog, I had a few of those, but my passion was reptiles and amphibians. This was in the late 60’s and very little was known about snakes, so I collected and studied them carefully. I  had a lizard collection as well, some chameleons, two African Bull frogs and a few rabbits. My father had huge aviaries of wild finches to round of the menagerie.

My father was a violent man that had found salvation through this religion but he remained a violent man. His law was imposed and enforced by violent means; if dictatorial words and demands were not met he resorted to corporal punishment with enthusiasm. Ironically, as you will see, his instrument of punishment was an old, very thick leather army belt. I did not do much to get into trouble with him in the days before Armageddon didn’t come.  I got to standard 5, I was eleven years old and a real cry baby, bullied by my father, the school staff, they too had no time for little Jehovah’s, and my peers, shit even the girls use to beat me. I think after I was pretty certain that this Armageddon thing was a lot of shit, about mid 1975 I changed a little, the first indication of this was: One of the school bullies was bored one play time and decided to relieve that by bashing the little Jehovah boy. The little Jehovah’s boy had had enough and lost it completely. The boy, Kevin, was taken to hospital and they thought he would loose an eye. At the age of 11 I had enough anger in me to do that with my fists. Unfortunately I liked the results. I would not have known the expression, “Better to piss on someone than to be pissed on by someone.” But it fit. From that day on I did not win every fight I was in but my opponents knew that they had been in a fight and tended to pick on someone that would not give them so much trouble. This may seem like I had resolved some serious problems – not true. All I had done was create some momentous defects of character that would make my life a misery in years to come. In retrospect it is quite simple to diagnose these, shit, you don’t need a degree in psychology to see this.”

 

One day I looked in the mirror and say a man I did not like one bit, a violent, hate filled person, a dangerous man. I spent the next few years working to change that man to more of what he use to be like. Once on that path there is no turning back and no end to it.

I like the AA’s tradition which states, “We claim spiritual progress rather than spiritual perfection.

 

Nosce te ipsum

View the Mexican Horse Thief’s Page

Short Story

THE MEXICAN HORSE THIEF I – ANGOLA

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19 Responses to “Religion…. on Jehovah’s Witnesses…”

  1. Marcelle Robbins Says:

    This could be my life down to a tee except for the fighting as Im a woman. I was obese on top of it all and the relentless teasing did nothing for my self confidence. Now Im 34, long time out “the truth” and still battling to live with the scars from days gone by. Excommunicated by family for my choices I have lived without their support for over 17 years.
    I could add pages and pages to this story above. he stops at the age of 11…I wonder what path his life took from there.

  2. Kurt Hennig Says:

    Oh my, I’m so glad that you all are getting caught up on JWsurvey.org as well as JWleaks.org and JWfacts.com but please do understand one very important thing!

    It is the true and real Jehovah who is causing this justice to be done to these fraudsters in OUR behalf!
    He is as fed up as we are so please don’t be angry at the true God who is seeking justice for those who have begged and pleaded for it for so many years!
    Just watch and be patient…

    • Wayne Bisset Says:

      There is no hope for you. You see the evidence and still believe the lie. A sign of true insanity.

      • Kurt Hennig Says:

        That’s sad that you were taken to that point that you have absolutely “no hope” in anything at all (too bad you don’t know my story) but if you think that all of this that these people are getting and about to get is mere coincidence then…enjoy it as justice earned either way! (- :

        Take Care!

      • Wayne Bisset Says:

        No coincidence. The truth, the REAL truth will out. As most fanatics you put words into my mouth so to speak. How the hell did you conclude that I have no hope. You do not know me either, and if you want to get in a “pissing contest” about life stories, I will bet I can give you a run for your money.

  3. Angus Says:

    You described my childhood. I was often physically abused both at home and at the Kingdom Hall for non-conforming behaviour. The mental scars are still there.

    • Wayne Bisset Says:

      Sorry to hear that. Scars are okay, just wear them well. :}

    • John Nobles Says:

      I was a born-in and you pretty much described my childhood too, except my mom was the religious and mental abuser, my dad wasn’t a JW but he loved to beat the shit out of me for no reason at all. I also got beat up at school nearly every day for the same reasons as you, and yes, even by girls (multiple girls would jump me at the same time). I was teased, tormented, and harassed endlessly. My mom forced me to go to meetings and when I couldn’t sit quietly for two hours at a time, I’d be taken outside or into the restroom and spanked/whipped until I cried and submitted. It was all so evil, sometimes I wonder myself how I survived it at all without committing suicide. I too have all the mental and emotional scars…

      • Wayne Bisset Says:

        Sorry mate. You have had to live it to fully understand hey? I became a very, very hard young man, some people think it was the army that made me the way I was, the army was mild, I had already done the “afkak” and their attempts at breaking me in were a joke. As I said , scars are okay, just wear them well.

  4. Kurt Hennig Says:

    I’m sorry I tried to help…please delete my comments and vent your anger at someone who wants to “Carry on a pissing contest” or is interested in taking your abuse…

    • Wayne Bisset Says:

      Your help I do not need, and you are incapable of making me angry.

      • Kurt Hennig Says:

        Either way, the help on an open forum is extended to all onlookers as well as a Human gesture of kindness, you clearly can’t accept it either whether needed or not. please delete my comments as I requested…after 30 years of dealing in Human Behavior, I know what I’m dealing with and I don’t care to at this point…

  5. Kurt Hennig Says:

    I mean it! I have no interest in having my name associated publicly with you…

  6. ajbrightman Says:

    Important lessons can be learned from this. How strict religious belief’s can effect someone’s parenting so badly that their child suffers immense sufficient harm in their environment – for no fault of their own. Made worse when been raised by a narcissistic bully. Sorry that happened to you Wayne, my heart truly goes out to you..xx

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