Complicated vs Complex Personalities

Mexican Horse Thief-Amanzimtoti23These two, on the surface, seem to be kissing cousins. Not true. One has an essence of bad trouble and that makes it far different from the other. Long ago, nearly a decade, I picked this thought up in one of my Strange Classrooms and as it was not that important to me then I filed it for future reference. Events of the past 18 months or so have caused me to pull that file. There I was, minding my own business ….. then I got involved with two people, it turns out I had one of each personality.  On the surface they seemed very similar, same age group, same education and even physically resembled one another. But, oh, so different. From observation and then back to my strange classroom this is what I concluded.

My complicated person is comparable to .. hell, nothing I have ever met before.  She is problematic, convoluted, difficult and inconsistent. She lies to others as much as she does to herself. She wants her bread buttered on both sides, then does not like the word “consequences”. She indulges in self-serving behavior and blames it on a compulsive nature. When she is getting what she wants she is sweetness and light, when not tearful and depressed. She will leave her boyfriend, only to return to him tearfully later, and the whole mess starts again. Walking with her was like navigating an unmapped minefield, with the enemy lurking in the nearby bush.

My complex person is like a user-friendly computer program. She consistent, straightforward and while having an intellect sharper than my Gerber, often her comments on this blog belied her age, and she kept me on my toes. But she lacks experience in this hard thing called life. She has no hidden agenda, she knows where she would like to go.

Observations on the 18 month “field training.”

The complicated person brought out the less pleasant side of my personality and I used all my arcane skills to run an almost perfect undercover ops in order to have an illicit love affair with her. Hell, it was exciting and I loved it. (defect of character) It also chewed me a bit and I broke from many months sobriety, and went wandering again. Only to return and repeat the process, until it hurt too much.

The complex person brought out the better side of my personality and was exciting in a much more acceptable way. The better side of my personality forced me to end the relationship though, and I suppose I resent the Christian religion just a little more, but if that is her path who am I to try to divert it?



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3 Responses to “Complicated vs Complex Personalities”

  1. Ruth Says:

    I like this blog a lot. I, too, have complex and complicated people in my life. I usually always refer to one specific person that i know, as he encomPasses the “complicated” aspect at every turn. He is also the one person I had to discontinue my “friendship” with. There is only so much manipulation, attempts at control, and just plain weirdness that one can tolerate. Complex, on the other hand, well…I have one of those, too, and this person is the one who keeps me (also) on my toes. Always thinking, trying to do better, trying to be better, and teaching me what having strength and being a strong person is all about. I enjoyed this post, Wayne. Very accurate and timely description of the two “C”s in life.

  2. AL Says:

    Thank you. I actually took a very reputable personality test that said that I had a the most complex combination of first and secondary motivations of a possible 20. I thought I was doomed to be a mess relationship wise(I’m actually fairly good at relationships) because I mistook complex for complicated. This cleared up somethings.

  3. Wayne Bisset Says:

    Reblogged this on Section Eight Solutions.

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