Setting Personal Boundaries

scorp-section-eight-logoSomething that confused me, oh shit, I spend most of the time confuzzed….

Anyhow, this particular confusion was that people would push and push me, (the nice quiet and sober Wayne) then when they found themselves sitting on the floor from a, oh the other kind of Klap, they would state their shock at my, “sudden anger.”

As I am a bit slow it took one of my strange teachers a while to teach me about setting boundaries, and then most importantly, letting the other ass know when he was crossing them. So I observed that this problem with boundaries thing has two distinct types of people. The more common is that of people that do not set any at all. They just spend their whole lives getting used and abused. Food for those Energy Vampires I wrote about in here a while back. The other, like me, doesn’t seem to be able to have the courage to tell people they are out of line, then snap.

A lot of work was needed here, and as I am no psychologist I cannot give any advise. However, if you relate to this, I can give you the benefit of my experience and as always. Please remember this is just….. One Man’s Opinion.

The Personal Boundaries was my stepping stone to many of my strange classrooms, the link is a good place to begin, with “lectures” on some of the following subjects:

Co-dependence

Delayed Stress Syndrome

Inner Child

Post Traumatic Stress

Be warned:

Once you start on this mission it is almost impossible to turn back.

“Here be monsters”, the Inner Child, that scared the shit out of……. even The Mexican Horse Thief!

A compilation of my Strange Classrooms is soon to be released, please “Like” and  keep an eye on this page.

THE MEXICAN HORSE THIEF

Here is a story of developing and breaking an addiction, while dealing with Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome at the same time.

THE CHRONICLES OF THE MEXICAN HORSE THIEF II

 

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5 Responses to “Setting Personal Boundaries”

  1. karen Says:

    Hi. Thank you for writing this. Gaining and growing.

    I thought I’d share some of my own interests here just to spur on some discussion…

    I had read the book titled: Codependent No More: How to stop controlling others and Caring for Yourself. Although I found it interesting, something still remained unanswered for me and I started asking myself whether the definition of codependent which i was reading was accurate enough.

    So I’ve been gazing upon writings by Robert Burney which provides me with a different perspective.

    This is one of the well known definitions of Co-dependency says Burney:

    “Co-dependency can be defined as the tendency to put others needs before your own. You accommodate others to such a degree that you tend to discount or ignore your own feelings, desires and basic needs. Your self-esteem depends largely on how well you please, take care of and/or solve problems for someone else (or many others).”

    In Burney’s opinion this may be an outdated and very inadequate definition of codependency which describes the phenomena very poorly and completely ignores the counterdependency which is the other extreme.

    Burney offers:

    Codependence is about giving power over our self-esteem to external conditions and/or outer forces (including other people) – being dependent on externals to determine how we feel about our self. That is dysfunctional. What we are striving for is to learn to be interdependent – to make allies, form partnerships – NOT make someone or something outside of us (i.e. popularity, career, money, etc.), or external to our being, our higher power that determines if we have self-worth.

    Meaningful in having a fuller understanding:

    Codependency is a form of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (Codependence as Delayed Stress Syndrome) which may be adapted in early childhood to survive the emotional pain we experienced. (Loving the Wounded Child Within) Since we did not have the tools and knowledge we needed to heal our wounds, we were forced to use denial and unconsciousness to deal with the pain of being human.

    Codependency can be described in a variety of ways – looking at it from different levels, different perspectives (What is codependency / codependence ?) – but the one just referenced in part above is a good one. Codependency is a compulsively reactive condition which is the result of growing up in emotionally dishonest, Spiritually hostile, shame based environment. Spiritually hostile in my definition meaning: based upon belief in separation (from our Source, from other people, from nature) – instead of connection to everyone and everything.

    🙂

  2. Wayne Bisset Says:

    “Codependency is a form of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (Codependence as Delayed Stress Syndrome) which may be adapted in early childhood to survive the emotional pain we experienced. (Loving the Wounded Child Within)”

    Therefore, in my opinion, in order to “fix” the Codependency one HAS to look into the Inner Child. Told you this is a long path. :}

  3. Laurinda Says:

    The workshops I facilitate based on Louise Hay’s work – Love yourself Heal your Life are all about embracing that inner child and healing those wounds. I feel privileged to watch them suddenly awaken to dreams they had forgotten and letting go of anger / self recrimination.

  4. Wayne Bisset Says:

    Reblogged this on Section Eight Solutions.

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