I have decided to re-study, back to my notes and findings from my Strange Classrooms.
That is not true, I did not decide, I HAVE to. The first step, in repairing some of the damage the last few years of on and off drinking has done to my mental state, will be to be honest with myself. So each day I will ask myself, before I do anything: “What is your motivation?”
My motivation to do these posts? Firstly absolutely selfish, I believe it will help be break this hold alcohol has on me again. Then if, by chance, one or two people can relate and it helps them, I won’t be too upset :} Maybe they can help by pointing out things I do not see.
“If you work on your mind with your mind, how can you avoid an immense confusion?”
The first subject that came to mind was this self-destruction mode some people have. I noticed, as usual in other people, but did not want to look in that mirror! Eventually I had to, then, tried to find ways to change this. Hard, painful work. I think I succeeded for many years. Now I seem to be back at square one, I retained the knowledge and the experience, but lost the wisdom. I read the link above, and all I could think was, “Oh shit!” If one can get a doctorate in, “How to fuck up a good thing.” I am a professor.
Now it is just a matter of fixing it.
A compilation of my Strange Classrooms is soon to be released, please “Like” and keep an eye on this page.
Here is a story of developing and breaking an addiction, while dealing with Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome at the same time.