Alcohol & Consequences

Alcohol. Alcoholic. These words have played an important role in my life, many of my strange classrooms have been visited, because of one or the other. If you have read The Chronicles of the Mexican Horse Thief II, you will see that I spent 7 sober. The last year of my sobriety was plagued by bad luck, nothing more nothing less. I took a drink again.

Here I learned it is not only Christian’s that practice conditional friendship and love. Some people I thought were good friends became so angry with me, they never spoke to me again. Some remained my friends only when I am on one of my lengthy dry spells.

A few made no judgments either way.

Now it is not purely the alcohol that makes me “go left” and do the things I do. I seem to have a couple of little switches in my head that don’t work so well. Every now and then, a true friend will point them out to me. My ex-wife told me years ago that I have no regard for consequences….. I tried to fix that switch, but was told recently that I just do not fear the bloody consequences. There is a huge difference there. I shall have to think about this.

And too my friends that remain my friends despite my “difficult” personality, thank you, you keep me more or less sane.

So , spent the day thinking about my reaction to consequences. They have changed a bit over the years, but my strange classroom s ALL tell me that I should live in the moment. I have walls, amour plated walls, they have been there most of my life. Few get passed them. The end of last year, someone did, on New Years morning, when she walked across Gordon’s studio roof I heard that song “Hanging in the Moment” in my head!! Talk about fucking pink. She was beautiful, but too young and belonged to another man. I broke all my sober principles and chased this girl. She told me she felt the same, so we just lived in the moment and fuck the consequences. It was doomed from the start. Pain and hurt from both sides were inevitable. I have no regret about that. To have that much passion, if one gets it, fleeting, once in a lifetime, one is lucky. Only thing is, my amour was damaged and perhaps, I did not repair it well enough, fast enough.

A compilation of my Strange Classrooms is soon to be released, please “Like” and  keep an eye on this page.

THE MEXICAN HORSE THIEF

Here is a story of developing and breaking an addiction, while dealing with Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome at the same time.

THE CHRONICLES OF THE MEXICAN HORSE THIEF II

 

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4 Responses to “Alcohol & Consequences”

  1. karen Says:

    🙂 difficult personality 🙂

    all those who are honestly real, aware, not brain washed, un-conditioned

    seem to be difficult

    i wonder?

    i’m a very difficult personality!

    nonconformist

    slippery soap

    but hey,

    i know how to love

    and i do

    deeply

  2. Beancounter Says:

    Having lived with an alcholic father since the day I can remember, and thereafter watching both my elder siblings drink themselves to death, I feel ‘unfortunately qualified’ to have views on the topic. I sense a lot of thought went into this, and that the thinking is not yet done. An interesting comparison – ‘…no regard for consequences…’ implies no pre-meditated thought, just action, and what will be will be. On the other hand ‘…no fear of consequences…’ might imply pre-meditated thought about the possible outcomes, but then embarking on the course of action anyway? Just ‘another man’s’ opinion.

    Nonetheless, as I have said before, I commend you on your ability to think things through, and hope that you get to the other side. Remember the old adage – ‘those that shit on you are not always your enemies, and those who get you out of shit are not always your friends’. Not all things that hurt are bad for us.

    Take care, and hope to see you again.

  3. Wayne Bisset Says:

    Reblogged this on Section Eight Solutions.

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