What Women Want. (On that first date.)

After intensive research.

Hundreds of women were interviewed and closely questioned by The Mexican Horse Thief and his main side-kick Pablo.

Very closely :}

Take Charge. They do not want to decide where to go. They will never tell you this, but it is true. Ask them what kind of place and/or food they like; then, pick a place like that. Do not leave it up to them to choose. You are the man. Act like one.

Smile. When they arrive, smile. Maybe you are a tough guy. Maybe you are nervous. Maybe you are paralyzed. Either way, smile. Women are strange, exotic, intuitive creatures, and they respond well to positive reinforcement. Do not glower.

Mind Your Body Language. If your legs are crossed and your hand is over your mouth, they will unconsciously think you are hiding something. If you are sprawled out all over with your legs spread wide and your hands behind your head, they will think you are a slob or generally loose. Sit up straight, lean in closer, and keep your hands where they can see them.

Ask Questions. This seems obvious, but it’s surprising how many men don’t do this. You know what women like? Attention. Also, kittens, flowers, and cupcakes. Nothing else. If you seem curious about the woman sitting across from you, she will like it. For sure.

Listen. You can’t just ask a bunch of questions, and then not listen to the answers. They call this a “date,” but, really, for women, it’s more like a “test.” If you emailed or talked on the phone beforehand, remember what the hell she told you about herself. If you forget, she will feel angry and want to leave. Then you will be sorry.

Use Flattery, Appropriately. If at some point during the meeting, you tell them we are “beautiful,” “attractive,” or “pretty,” they will like you better than if you didn’t. It’s. Just. That. Simple.

Act Right They really do not care if you are secretly neurotic, deeply insecure, or mildly nuts. They are interested in how you portray yourself. Act confident, interested, engaged, self-assured, ambitious, and happy. They like that.

No Pawing Allowed. If you’re going to score with them at some point, they will let you know. Trust. Occasional physical contact is OK—a hand to the small of the back, a touch of the thigh, a brief holding of the arm while making a point. Do not grab anywhere in the red light zones. If they want your hands there, they will put them there.

Pay. Feminism, shmeminism. Take care of the bill without comment. That is what they want. Wave off any offer to go Dutch. They lie. They don’t want to pay half.

Say Goodnight. Don’t meander off into the night. Do something. What that is, is up to you: a handshake, a hug, a kiss.

Do it right? You might get a second date.

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4 Responses to “What Women Want. (On that first date.)”

  1. karen Says:

    To the very keen observer

    Excellence in most spheres does seem to depend upon the tutored eye

    Such useful tips on perfecting the art of ‘first date’

    To man:

    somewhere in there. Wildish. Wolfish. Woman. Wants:

    Your Love

    Sarah says it so beautifully in her song:

    Your Love is better than ice cream

    Better than anything else that I’ve tried

    Study the meaning of eyes, of voice, of gesture
    as well as the meaning of the lines of the face…

    we can all become such observers!

  2. waynebisset Says:

    My enigmatic Karen. :}

  3. Mad McMax Says:

    It’s a lot easier for women on a first date.

    All they need to do is to pitch up with a slab of beer. Naked.

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