Scar Tissue

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“The pattern of scars on anyone’s spirit determines who we are. Sometimes it enriched the spirit and sometimes it broke it. The secret of life seems to be surviving the damage, and to wear the scars well.”

One can add quite a lot to that statement! All very well to say wear the scars well, but how? Damaged people, like children need to learn how to dress, how to tie a shoe lace, which colour goes with which, oh and lot of other things. Who will teach them?

If you have read a bit of the Chronicles you will see that it is safe for me to assume that I have a few scars, perhaps if you know me now you would say I wear them well? I fervently  hope so.

It was not always like this and the scars were built up long before I did my military thing. I believe that part of the reason for my second mission in to the war zones of Africa was because my scars were not even scars yet, still bleeding scabs. I only began to learn how to dress in my mid thirties. The first step was to admit to myself I was in serious trouble and I did not want to live like I this any more. Then I started on a quest, firstly to find out WHY I was so messed up and then what to do about it.

First see and then DO.  Without the latter, don’t bother to read any further.

Each person will have different symptoms from the damage they have received so some of the things I did will not be pertinent to them, but remember the principle remains the same. My obvious symptom was that I was a drunkard and a highly aggressive person. I joined a 12 Step program to end the drinking, and in the beginning naively believed this would solve every thing. That was one small step of what has being a long road that will not end.

A compilation of my Strange Classrooms is soon to be released, please “Like” and  keep an eye on this page.

THE MEXICAN HORSE THIEF

Here is a story of developing and breaking an addiction, while dealing with Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome at the same time.

THE CHRONICLES OF THE MEXICAN HORSE THIEF II

 

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9 Responses to “Scar Tissue”

  1. Amayzone Says:

    a great post wayne – i like the concept of wearing the scars well.

    To take the analogy futher, I guess we have all found ways to wear them, some of them are not always “the cutting edge of fashion”, sometimes we wear big baggy cloppy clothes to hide behind, sometimes we use cosmetic applications to try enhance what is not there

  2. waynebisset Says:

    That is another whole can of worms, camouflaging rather than dressing. Walked that path for a while and was so good at it that I forgot who I really was, so the scabs did not heal, they just became septic. That took even more work to disinfect. I get around to a post on that sometime, maybe.

  3. Nikki Says:

    Hi

    I found your post inspiring – full of truths which society often dares not admit to. I like the idea of seeing first before doing. Until you can be honest and face the truth, you’ll spend the rest of your days running away from it and chasing yourself into corners.

    Trauma can become an uncomfortable comfort zone, can’t it? Even though you get older, the ‘scars’ stay very close to the surface and they become like friendly enemies. For me, I’ve given up trying to get help for my trauma. Hard to find someone who knows how to handle it. Yet, I refuse to be a victim of the past.

    It’s interesting; people often see me as an attractive, professional woman who has made a success of her life. My perception is very different, due to my traumatic childhood. Sometimes, it’s good to ask yourself the question,’What has brought you to where you are now? How have you survived against the odds?’ I guess if it doesn’t break you, you have an inner strength – a spirit – that somehow guides you through. It can make you who you are…

    Thanks for your honesty. It’s rare these days.

  4. waynebisset Says:

    Niki, if you have got this far, you have that strength! You have survived, one thought. About two years into the program I stated in a meeting, “I am tired of surviving, I want to LIVE!” I think that was the moment when mere sobriety was just not enough. I read a lot of Bradshaw’s inner child stuff after that, and also made a comment to a fellow traveler that it is the scariest thing I had ever done. The rewards were great. You may have to look back, not go back mind, before you continue forward.
    You go well.

  5. Vee Says:

    Wow. Someone who is not afraid to be real ! I have been walking the road to recovery after 15 years of abuse, for another 10 years. I am so tired of people trying to do a quick fix & standing back and not understanding that there is no instantaneous result. I too desire to proceed through life on ther defensive not the offensive. to walk as a victor and not a victim… the best and only help that has and is getting me through is walking hand in hand with GOD. He is even willing to walk with me at my pace, step by step on the road to victory. There is a way to wear the scars well, some can even disapear….

  6. waynebisset Says:

    Hello Vee. Thanks for taking the time to leave a comment, you are pretty real and honest yourself. I also WANT a quick fix :} The thing is wise men have said, it does not matter how slowly you go forward just as long as you are going forward. I wish you well on your journey, and we shall meet on the other side, perhaps.

  7. Garrick Says:

    Nice post Wayne and I also liked the scar tissue analogy. Reminds me of a skateboarding T-shirt that did the rounds some years back. I also appreciate your honesty.

    Bones heal, chicks dig scars, pain is temporary, glory is forever. 😉

    In my experience, the scars that I carry have made me who I am and if I can love that person, then I can also look upon the scars with love and gratitude.

    If you take the analogy a little further many wounds are caused when we are young children. I have seen some as young as being in the womb and being aware of expectations of the mother, and recently one as a two year old where there was some abuse involved. Beyond the actual event, the problem is that what happened has not been integrated into your experience because usually you make that thing wrong and hold it “outside” of you, and every time you see something like that happen around you, which is usually a lot, you experience pain. When you give permission to fully integrate your experience into your life and accept the bad, and the good, that the event brought you, then the scar disappears because there is no wound.

    John de Martini talks about it in his Collapse Process and Debbie Ford in her Shadow Work and it is all over in what Angela Deutschmann does. It is the way to lead a joyful life. It takes some courage to walk into that space. I have been privileged enough to see quite a few in my time and I plan to see many more.

    Thanks for your post.

  8. Gaining a Spiritual and Moral Balance « One Man's Opinion Blog Says:

    […] to me. I would not go so far as to say it was for free, as the price was very high,  not in money. Scar tissue, scar […]

  9. Wayne Bisset Says:

    Reblogged this on Section Eight Solutions.

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